I've been feeling kind of
jealous,
Of all them cocky fellas,
Like Michael, Rod, and Mick.
Doctor can you mend me?
I've a case of penis envy,
If I only had a dick.
It would have to be a big
one,
A giant horny love gun,
To make me be a jock.
Girls would never beg my pardon,
They would turn on to my hardon
If I only had a cock.
Oh, I can tell you now,
the number of times I'd score,
I could fuck girls like I never have before,
and then I'd cum (wee!)
And fuck some more!
I would not be just a
housewife,
Living a little mouselife
In days that drag out long....
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a dong!
I am tired of being
macho,
I'd rather be a nacho
A tasty little fit...
I think it's rather rude
That my genitals protrude,
If I only had a clit!
(I forgot this verse)
Oh, I can tell you why
A man's life is too tough
I would rather be a gorgeous sexy muff,
Because I don't
Cum enough!
I am tired of being HeMan
Bloated up with semen
A one-orgasm tough
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a muff!
(No offense is intended by the previous songs to either sex or orientation)